"Let Go, and Let God"

A lady very near and dear to my heart died this morning of an unexpected heart attack.  I had been helping her in her home this past year as a caregiver as she struggled with Parkinson's Disease.  Although I was there to help her, she really was a blessing to my life and I have so many fond memories of her and our time together.


One of my duties with her was to prepare all of her meals. Well, she found out I was getting married in July and she took it on herself to teach me every way to cook a chicken, fish, steak and all the sides you can imagine. She would sit in her chair in the kitchen and tell me EXACTLY how to make every dish and if I messed up.... she would make me start again so that I would get it JUST RIGHT! :) She would laugh at me all the time and say that I was a terrible cook but she was teaching me and that David should be thankful for her! :)  My last day with her on this earth was Saturday of this past weekend. She had been talking about her famous fried catfsh and how David would just LOVE it!  So we got all the ingredients and the fish and I made the most amazing looking fried catfish I have ever seen. (I don't think I've ever really seen fried catfish...lol) She was so proud of me and told me that NOW I would make a good wife! Ha, she was so hilarious!

She threw David and I a "Christmas" wedding shower in December with our families and gave us the most GORGEOUS wreath for our future door this coming Christmas. She had been talking about her gift to me since August and when I finally opened up the box to see the wreath her face was just beaming!  I think people in North Carolina are going to drive buy our little house this coming Christmas and think we must REALLY know how to decorate for Christmas from the looks of our wreath, but on the inside, we probably won't even have a tree tall enough to reach our hips. ;-)  But I will always think of her now at Christmas and her servant heart that was always trying to give, give, give.

Her favorite phrase was "Let Go and Let God." I would always tell her how nervous I was about my nursing tests, clinicals, the future job search, the wedding details etc etc and she would always just look at me, smile and say calmly.... "Chrissy, just Let Go, and Let God!"  She said that God knew my needs, He listened to my cries for help, He loved me and that He knew what was best for me. Such a beautiful reminder for me daily in everything that I do!

I am still in shock that she is gone but I KNOW she is with her Savior and that I was blessed with the time I had with her in her final months.  I will always remember her telling me each time I left her house "Chrissy, you are going to be a GREAT nurse and anyone would be lucky to have you take care of them!"  Her words of encouragement were such a blessing and I just loved her to death even though I only knew her a short time. 

I am taking the Hesi Exit Exam for nursing tomorrow and that dreaded passing score of "850" is running through my head causing such anxiety.  But I have been reminded today that when I begin to take the test tomorrow I will just take a deep breath and think to myself "Let Go, and Let God." :)